Alisa’s story – a cancer survivor who wants a family

In 2008, a week away from our 1st wedding anniversary I was thrown into a severe
round of chemo, radiation and brachytherapy. I was diagnosed with a very aggressive
and severe form of lung cancer that on very rare occasions attacks the cervix, which is what happened to me. I was given a 20% chance of survival regardless of my treatment, so it all looked pretty bleak.


<Image from: Journeying Beyond Cancer >

I managed to get through it with the help of family, friends and my wonderful
husband who made me laugh every day, I’m not sure how, but he did.

I don’t remember much of that time now, I did a lot of sleeping, crying and trying to
eat. I was determined not to lose too much weight as I’m quite slender to start with. I
guess you can say I was quite determined to stay alive. I still have everything intact,
but am unable to conceive or carry, which makes it very upsetting. For some reason
the choice to have my own family has been taken away from me. I am now 4 years in
remission. Right now we are looking very good. So I just want to get on with my life and that means following my dreams for a family.

Troy and I have wanted a family for years, even before we got married, but I wanted to be married first as I thought it was the right thing to do. We have nieces and nephews and so many friends with kids, and we just know that having a child will bring us so much joy.


So… after many years we are up to the surrogacy stage. Yes, it’s taken that long to get through the egg donation. We had a few offers from egg donations, but for one reason or another, they were not medically fit or time passed and we didn’t hear from them again and other ladies were helping someone else. And we’ve had a lot of stumbles too.

We eventually found a lovely lady and have 5 embryo’s freezing awaiting a surrogate.
The six month sterilization period will be up at the start of July, 2013.

We have been very fortunate to have had 3 surrogates offer, but for one reason or
another it hasn’t worked out. We are hopeful that someone out there will be able to
help.

At times we have been quite upset with the whole process to be honest and feel very lost and alone. It’s been extremely expensive so far, from taking intended egg donors and surrogates to the Dr’s – only to find that the lovely people who have offered are not “medically fit” to go ahead with, and the expense of traveling on many occasions. There’s no Medicare for any procedures so every time we start this process with someone new I am out of pocket again. And again. And Again. Still, we can’t let go of our dreams. We’ve come so far to get to this stage that we can’t just give up now.

We have also had a lot of trouble with the clinic we have been going to. Wanting
us to do things a certain way which doesn’t fit our situation, well to be frank, wouldn’t fit anyone’s situation. I won’t go into details. It’s caused a great deal of stress, but fortunately not on our relationship. The last couple of years have definitely brought us closer together.

We still have our eyes on the prize so to speak and know that we will eventually get
there. We are quite patient and know that an angel surrogate will help soon enough.

We have sooo much love to give it’s not funny. I think our cat is going slightly crazy from all the cuddles and attention it gets! Troy loves sports and I just know he can’t wait to have a child to go surfing or play football with, and I love baking and can’t wait to make special treats and birthday cakes for my much longed for child. We’ve got a big backyard planned for a pool and cubby house, and a lovely house we are slowly renovating and can’t wait for the day that we bring our newest member of the family home to share it with.

Our parents on the other hand are on another level!! They are already buying things! I’ve told them to slow down, but they are excited that we have the embryos and it’s only a matter of time and determination and we will find a surrogate.

Alisa

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If you would like to help Alisa as a surrogate, please get in contact with us via the Facebook page (linked at right). You can also support us by downloading the petition and collecting signatures – to help cancer survivors gain equal access to Medicare to have a family.

Dr Andrew Pesce: Medicareless petition will get the government to react

Dr Andrew Pesce, former head of the Australian Medical Association (AMA) and Jillian Spears, a surrogacy patient, were interviewed by 4BC radio in Brisbane on Monday, 15th April. In the interview, Dr. Pesce agreed that the Medicareless petition to change Medicare laws would get the government to react. The aim of the petition it to provide equal treatment under the law for all IVF patients, including surrogacy.

“The AMA’s position has always been where a procedure is lawful, and it is clinically necessary, the AMA believes that the whole principle of Medicare is to make sure that clinically necessary and lawful services are made available to people that need them. So this would certainly fall into that category,” he said.

The AMA represents the interests of more than 27,000 medical practitioners from all specialties and locations across Australia.

andrew-pesce

Listen the entire interview here

Partial transcript below:
Why no rebate?
“I think it’s just a historical fact, there’s probably been a slow evolution of what technology has been available for people and surrogacy only came into clinical use probably some time after the rebates were set. Governments tend to have a policy that until they make a specific decision that until they are refundable through Medicare then they aren’t. That’s why a lot of new treatments often are outside Medicare rebates. And leaves us in what is quite an anomolous situation.

Wouldn’t surrogacy give some women a better option than IVF?

There is no doubt that for some women their only option is surrogacy……Now I have to say I wasn’t available to listen to your discussion with Jillian so I have absolutely no background to her medical illness and story.

Well basically due to illness, her, and her other friends, well, she lost her womb.

Well obviously, she can’t carry a baby so there is no option for her other than there being a surrogate to carry the embryo on her behalf if she was able to donate eggs to be fertilized with her partner’s semen. So for her it is the only option.

For various other people, normally most couples would try very, very hard and exhaust all possibilities of carrying their own babies themselves, and only consider surrogacy if it seems to be the only option left available to them.

It seems really expensive doesn’t it. I mean, the average cost of a legal surrogacy is around $60,000.

In which country are you talking?

Obviously here in Australia.

So, I am not involved in the fertility industry. I guess this is in addition to the normal IVF costs, I guess it is because you need to pay for the time and pain and other things associated with the other things of having another person having a baby on your behalf. Look, I am not sure how those costs have evolved, but it certainly does sound expensive.

As the former AMA president, would you see with this petition, that there’s potential that the government may react at last and that the government may do something about this and provide some kind of rebate?

Oh, yes, I think so. The AMA’s position has always been where a procedure is lawful, and it is clinically necessary, the AMA believes that the whole principle of Medicare is to make sure that clinically necessary and lawful services are made available to people that need them. So this would certainly fall into that category.

There are some other times when surrogacy might be requested where there isn’t a medical necessity for it. Let’s just say for argument’s sake there was a woman who was too busy in her career to take the time off to become pregnant and wanted someone else to carry her baby. I think some people might say there are some examples where we could think that we don’t that taxpayer dollars are necessarily best invested. But I think that most people would agree when it’s the only option available for a couple that are desperate to have children, I think most people would be comfortable with Medicare covering it.

Our Ms. Amazing has found us :) We have a surrogate!!!!!

One of the members of our community has some good news to share! She has just found a woman willing to carry a baby for her. That part of the struggle over, now she will be facing the IVF clinics, counselors, lawyers and more. Support her by following her journey, and say congratulations while you are over at her blog!

thesiblingprojectblog

Image

Words simply cannot describe the emotions running through my bones at the moment. I have never been so in awe of someone in my entire life. To offer the gift of life for someone else, and cherish and take care of that life until when we can take over is nothing but miraculous.

A very spiritual man from India recently gave me some advice. It was a time where I wondered if I should give up. It was a time where I wasn’t entirely sure I had enough left in the tank to continue on with such an emotional and difficult journey. With every high came twenty lows and with it the wonder of whether I could continue on this path. His wise words encouraged me on and it is the reason I am now where I am today.

“Never let the flame of hope go out. With hope in…

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25 years on – reflections from Australia’s first surrogate

It’s been 25 years since Australia first got involved in surrogacy. We here at Medicareless love this interesting presentation from the very first woman who participated in IVF surrogacy in Australia.

In her blog Linda And The Star – Linda Kirkman say of the experience of gestating her niece:

“I overall derived great satisfaction and a sense of empowerment from being able to have a vision of something I wanted to achieve, and direct the system – in this case, the reproductive technology system, combined with overcoming legal and ethical hurdles – to achieve my goal. No, I’m not demure, and in the thrall of a dominant older sister. We worked together, with the aid of family and the wider community, to achieve a goal. In this presentation I write about privilege, human rights, and birth stories, and illustrate it with photos and artworks made by Bendigo artist, Iain Stewart. The presentation is available on academia.edu.”

We recommend you check out Linda’s great presentation and think about the future you would like to see in Australia. We know we would like to ensure that surrogacy in Australia is made more simple for those who find themselves in need of a surrogate, or who are generous enough to offer themselves to help the family dreams of others to come true.

Full circle

We encourage our readers to check out the blog ‘Our Surrogacy’ from one of our great supporters, who has chosen an overseas surrogacy option due to the inability to afford surrogacy in Australia, and the certainty that the law provides in a more experienced setting.

Our Surrogacy

Well it feels a little as though we have come full circle.  We are back to where we started from.  The test result on Tuesday (not Monday – we ended up having to wait an additional excruciating 24 hours…) was negative.   No baby or babies this year.

I have been through a range of feelings over the past few days.  Initially it was raw grief and despair.  It felt as though all the unfairness and sadness and loss was flooding back into my life and I couldn’t stop it.  I had wanted this so much and knew just how perfect it could have been for all of us.  My son was in bed fast asleep when we received the news; I was glad.  The last thing he had said before going to bed was that he had wanted to find out The Result.  In the morning I told him…

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Channel 9 – The Today Show

For those who missed the live show, please click on the link to see us on the Today Show, Wednesday 10th April, 2013 – The Medicare loophole.

We are happy to have had the opportunity to engage with the Australian community through the Today show this morning. We are interested in any other mediums to share our story, to let people know that it is ordinary Australians that are impacted by this discrepancy in the Medicare legislation that forces surrogacy patients to pay double or triple the amount for IVF treatment as compared to other citizens.

Feel free to contact us through this blog or our Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/Medicareless